Shutting down my Heartstrings Weight-Loss Blog.

Time to Move On!

 For those of you who follow my weight-loss blog, I want to say "Thank You". I started this blog over five years ago to share my weight loss journey and many of  you have been my loyal followers and friends. 

I have decided to put this blog to rest and start a new one .There are a lot of reasons why I want to start a new blog, and shut this one down. 

 One reason is to have control on who is reading my blog and keeps those that I don't want reading my blog away. In other words, keep the haters away!!

My new blog will be again all about my weight loss journey, what I will be doing and how much weight I will be losing. I will share tips, recipes, quotes, pictures, successes and failures  and much more!

I am excited to start this new blog because it means, a new beginning  with a different prospective.

 for those of you who want to follow my new blog, I will be sharing a link on Facebook  and on my Instagram account. 

 Once again thank you for all your messages, emails, words of encouragement  and love this past five years!
(The heartstrings blog will stay in the internet for a while then it will be deleted). 

My new journey has just began!!

“When one door closes, another door opens, but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”

~Alexander Graham Bell ~

THE POWER OF A LIPSTICK

"On a bad day, there is always lipstick"

Since I was a little girl I have love to wear lipstick. And because I was the first daughter, my dad would always buy  me lipsticks so he can watch me put it on and have a good laugh.  I can only imagine how I looked.

As I got older my love for lipstick grew. I went for liking pink colors to dark reds.  Don’t ask me why I like darker shade of reds, but I guess I see it as a source of strength. You put it on and suddenly you feel more capable than you did without it.

HERE ARE MY LIPS WITH A SHADE OF RED LIPSTICK.

 When I started gaining weight I stopped wearing lipstick simply because I did not wanted to get more attention than what  I  was already getting.

Back in 2011 I started to lose weight and I  went back  wearing dark shade color lipsticks because I felt more confident about myself. However I  was told by few people that I should not wear dark colors only light pinks, because I did not look good. So since I like to make others happy I got rid of my dark colors and started to wear different shades of  light pinks.

 One particular day, I looked in the mirror and I thought to myself “I miss wearing my dark lipstick” I realized at that moment, that my dark lipstick made me feel confidence and that is why I liked it!

I have decided to go back wearing dark color shade lipsticks again! The way I look at life now is, as long as I am happy that is all that matters! And for the first time in my life I am putting myself first.

A good lipstick says to the universe:

·        I care

·       I embrace being a woman

·       I have style

·       I welcome beauty into my life

 kat Van D desing. My Wolvesmouth lipstick.

Few weeks ago I visited Sephora and found a beautiful lipstick that was design by Kat Van D and I fell in love with it! I just had to have it. The name of the lipstick is Wolvesmouth a metallic berry.

I think every girl needs a  lipstick to  make her feel  attractive. I love my dark new lipstick and when i wear it I feel beautiful!.

Just like Wonder Woman needed her cuffs, Captain Planet needed his magic ring and Superman needed his cape and external underwear, because without all of those items they were a little bit powerless.

Well, that’s how I feel about my dark lipstick. Because you cannot deny the power of dark lipstick!

My Beautiful new lipstick!


It does not matter if we are 150 pounds or 300 pounds we all need to feel beautiful! and find the strength in something to make us all continue to move forward in our weight loss journey!

That’s what friends are for!

 “Friends are angels that lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly”

As a morbidly obese person, I am used to have people rushing ahead of me no matter where I go, not making eye contact, or not smiling back when they passed me. No man has ever hold the door open for me except my husband and I am used to have people look at me like I am some weird creature from out of this world. These behaviors are normal to me, sad but true. The world is a dark and lonely place when you are morbidly obese.

 Four years ago my world change drastically when I lost nearly 200 pounds. But this change was made possible with the help of beautiful people that I met along this journey.

 Four years ago I joined Weight Watchers. I had decided to change my life for good. I remember my first WW meeting; I didn't know anyone and I felt like a child going to kindergarten for the very first time. My first experience attending this meeting was horrible. I swore I would never go back. But I met a wonderful lady that was sitting in the back of the room that embraced me and became my friend the minute she said hello. Her name is Linda and we have become the best of friends. She was one of the reasons why I continue to keep going to the meetings. She started to show to the meeting each week with gifts.

 Card, pictures and poem from Linda.

 One week was a bag of fresh vegetables from her farm; the next week was a beautiful card, a lotion for my tire feet, a necklace to make me feel pretty and so on. Every week there was something from her to make me feel special. Not because I was losing weight but simply to remind me how special I was. I remember when I got to my 100 pound loss, she cried with me sharing my happiness and sadness since my puppy had just passed away unexpectedly four days prior to my 100 pound loss. Linda has become a friend for life. After moving  to Utah, she continue to think of me with cards, gifts telephone calls, texts and emails and words of encouragement.  She is a beautiful soul that continues to care for me asking for nothing in return. Few weeks ago we spoke on the phone and she knew of all the difficulties I have had with my weight and personal life.  I told her “I have let so many people down!” she told me “No Marjorie you have let yourself down!”

 Thank you Linda!

She is right. At the end of the day I don’t answer to anyone and I was not doing this for anyone but myself. Few days after our telephone conversation I received a card in the mail with pictures and a poem. What an amazing friend she is!  Even though she is a very busy wife, mother and grandmother she has always taken the time to let me know that “I matter” I will be forever grateful to her.

I have met a lot of wonderful people along my weight loss journey but no one so dedicated to me, like Linda has been!   I have always said that actions  speak louder than words!

Thanks Linda for being such an amazing friend!

   We can all be a friend like Linda!

 Until next time. Be kind to yourself!!

Finding My New Normal

"Never look back. If Cinderella went to pick up her shoe

she would not have become a Princess"

 It has been a long time since I wrote something on my blog. I have so much to say but do not know where to start! First of all I will be 100% honest with my readers. One of the reasons why  I stopped entering anything in my blog, is because my husband's  family members  want nothing to do with us in fact they have disowned  us and yet I know they continue to check back  to see if I have entered anything on my blog. And they read it and follow my weight loss journey!, which to me is very twisted.  If they choose not to have anything to do with me why are they interested in what goes on in my life?

Today I decided that I am not going to let anyone stop me from reaching out to others and doing what I love the best..and that is to help someone through my blog and Facebook page!

 I will not waste more of my time talking about people that really do not matter in my life. The only thing I wish I could do is block the haters but  with Blogger.com  you can not  do it. It really sucks but ..oh well what do you do?!!

 

Anyways moving on to better things., lot's has happened since I was last here. Dean and I have moved back to Canada. Our two years in Cedar City were very interesting to say the least, but we would not change it for the world! We met some wonderful people and made friends that I know I will have  for a life time!. One of the many  reasons for coming back to Canada was for me to be close to my dear Mother who I adore. She has an illness called  Lupus and she has not been doing well at all. My mother has always been one of my best friends( besides my sweet husband )and I would hate to be far from her if anything would happen to her!

Being away from Canada and dealing with all the garbage, and pain Deans family  put us through it  really affected  my my weight loss . In fact that just killed my spirit in such a way that I was so stressed out that I gained a lot of weight back! ...But now I am willing to find my new me. Give myself a chance to heal and begin my journey of weight loss all over again.  I am so bless to have such a wonderful husband who loves me unconditionally! He has been by my side no matter how big or small I been! I know I can do it all over again and I am thankful for new beginning and second chances.

 The day I became Canadian!

 One a good note Dean and I have a beautiful little place which we call it our love nest here in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. We continue to strive to live good lives. Our little Kasper (dog) continues to be the center of our lives giving us unconditional love.

It has been a blessing living  close to my wonderful parents which love us and accept us with our short comings. How bless I am to have them and I will be eternally grateful for all the love, support they give my sweet husband. Oh before I forget I need to share this wonderful news.......I finally became Canadian Citizen, YOOHOO!!! What an honor  is to be part of such a great and wonderful nation. 

I have few plans for the future and one of them is to go back and visit my Country of birth which is Chile. I will be taking a trip with my mother hopefully in a years time. So I have to work really hard to lose the weight I have gained.

 I promise to be more active in writing on my blog in fact I will be posting something  next week. And that is my promise to you all. Thank you for those of you who keep checking back every week to see if there are new postings. Thank you  for your messages of support and your never ending love.  It means the world to me. Please feel free to leave me your comments and send me emails.

 The new me!

 I will leave you with a though. Life might  push you down and you  may fall many times and people are going to hurt you but what matters the most is to get up and keep going and never give up!! That is exactly what I will do!!

Till next time!

Be kind to your self:)

WHAT DOES YOUR INNER VOICE SAY?

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cripple my unstable and heavenly dependent level of self-worth”

Self Esteem is something that I fight with every day of my life.  I have never felt worthy of feeling beautiful. I have asked myself why do I feel like that? I believe that when we are children we are like sponges and we absorb a lot of different things and that can shape us later in life.  I know that the foundation for positive self-esteem is built at an early age and is influenced by others. When I look back in my childhood, my insecurities and feeling ugly started when I was only 4 years old.

I was blessed and fortunate to have a mother that stayed home with me and my siblings.  However, when I was 4 years old, she decided to take a job outside the house. This lasted for about a month and it would have dire consequences for me later on in my life.  Of course that required her to leave the house every day. During that month, she hired a nanny that would come to our house every day to look after me and my younger brother.

After 34 years of asking myself why do I feel so ugly, why don’t I have respect for myself, I began to wonder if something had happened to me when I was a child.  Sure enough one day out of the blue, I started to remember what this nanny did and said to me while she came to look after us. I think I blocked those memories from my mind for over 30 years.

 As a child I would wet the bed. She would drag me from my beautiful dark long hair and tell me how gross and ugly I was for wetting the bed. She would say things like “You are a pig!” “You are disgusting “, “ I am going to cut you up into little pieces and roast you in the oven like a pig, because you are one!”, “You are the ugliest girl I have seen”,” You are so fat, you look like an elephant” “You smell like a dead animal”..” I am going to burn you alive!”  Those words continue to haunt me.  She did not only say those things to me but she would also physically abuse me by pulling my hair and pinch me in between my tiny chubby fingers until I would cry.  She would hit my brother on the head and I would protect him by hugging him and she would grab my hair and pull me away from him saying “I was too fat to hug him and I was going to break his back.”

Here I am as a 3 year old little girl with my favorite toy.

I believe that this woman actions and words have scared me for life. Every time I feel I can love my self and feel worthy of feeling and looking beautiful. I hear that inner voice that says “You are nothing!” “You are a pig”.

I believe that self-esteem is necessary to be able to lose weight and take care of our bodies.  I know this is one of my biggest down falls for my obesity. Perhaps some of you may think this is just an excuse but to me is something I fight with every day of my life.

I want every child to know that no matter what anyone says. They are worth it, they are beautiful! And no one has the right to make them feel worthless! I want to share some of the experiences that may lead to low or no self-esteem:

• Being physically, sexually, or emotionally abused.
• Being ignored, ridiculed, or teased.
• Being expected to be perfect all the time.
• Being harshly criticized.

This entry to my blog has helped me realize that I need to work on improving my self-image. And work hard in having self-esteem. I know deep in my soul that once I do this it will be easier to work on my weight loss. I have known this for years, but I have never really done anything about it. Why? Because I have felt not worthy of loving myself enough to do something about it. It really is a vicious cycle.

I ask myself why I need self-esteem.  Simply to be happier!

Self-esteem is the driver of our decision making.  A low self-esteem can hold us back from realizing our true potential in life, it can stop us from having the courage to chase our dreams, and it can lead us to a life unfulfilled.  A positive self-esteem provides us with unlimited potential, it empowers us and pushes us to believe we can do it, it energizes and motivates us, and whatever we focus our efforts on CAN BE DONE!  It inspires us to achieve, and allows us to take pleasure and pride in our achievements. It helps us to be resilient, to pick ourselves up more quickly after a fall, leaving us with more energy to start again.
Self Esteem is about the power of YOU... and is not selfish but rather, it is compassionate and necessary for your well being.

 

How is your SELF ESTEEM?